(Ref: Truth, 17 May 09)
Ya, so the story goes on...
My friend met up with the OF(old flame). I jokingly gave him the dramatic horror of horrors reaction. Well, I honestly did not expect him to 'fess up to the meet up. And I asked him the all-important question:
Who initiated it?
He did.
He claimed to have good reasons to. Apparently he casually mentioned they should catch up one day, and he thought he ought to honor his word. (Ya right.) Furthermore, it's just lunch. (Just lunch!?)
Eventually, he said it's to find out if what was lost is still there.
I am puzzled, if the initial stir had truly been alarming, disconcerting, almost somewhat of an internal turmoil, then why on earth would he do that?
Alright, he claimed, he had no intention to start any illicit relationship with the OF. Alright, he still has some sense. But wouldn't it be potentially dangerous to put oneself in such a situation? What if the chemistry is too strong to resist? What if what if happened? It hardly seem like a wise "flee from temptation" kinda decision.
In fact, I believe the human mind has a funny way to trick oneself onto the slippery slope. How often have you heard from the many who strayed emotionally (or, beyond), that it started with a harmless "we began as just friends..."? And then claims that they've gone too far, too much, too deep in love to resist the relationship.
I believe tell-tale signs will always surface, that yes, it is getting too far, too much and too deep. I also believe that we have a way of deluding ourselves, pretending that it's nothing while indulging in the whole why-does-something-so-wrong-feel-so-righ
t?
I digress. Perhaps, it's my not so subtle way of cautioning all faithful-wannabes out there. Be faithful.
But I really digressed.
My friend is a sensible boy. He claimed he just needed to know if the chemistry is still there. If it is, he will go through another round of dealing with his feelings and soul searching to further understand his heart. (Ok, profound beyond my understanding, but maybe it's a guys' thing.) If there's nothing there, he can happily close the chapter.
And the answer was on the platter. Nothing. Zilch. Go-song. Ji-ro. Time, life experiences and values had pushed this pair of ex close friends apart. A gap that perhaps will never be bridged again. A connection lost. A chemistry that will never happen again.
And I think my friend lost a good thing to gain something far far better.
So, have you ever felt "why-does-something-so-wrong-feel-so-rig
ht" before?
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