Alrighty peeps, it's less than 9hrs to my flight.

I finished all my packing, wrapped up any outstanding stuff and I'm all set to go. Er... got 50% excitement. I was thinking, maybe it's the last time I'll have such energy to go away and do community service le... hahahah... feel like my energy level is soooo low! Old already >.<

My niece was so sweet to give me enough hugs to last a week, plus some bonus ones :) and my bro's gonna wake up at 530am to drive me down. I love my family!!!

A big thanks to all you who had contributed to the fundraising for my trip! U are part of my trip and I hope I'll come back with good stories to tell :D

A big thanks also to those who had told me ur coming to send me off, and those I persuaded no need to... U don't know how much I appreciate ur thought  :) :) But actually I really will feel paiseh if you come cuz it's tooooo early la!!!

All I pray, is that I'll be back safely. You know how paranoid I am about flying and safety.. HAHAHA...

See you when I'm back! Love yaaaa all!!!!! *hearts hearts hearts*

Wow, thank you for still visiting this blog :o I was about to leave it for dead already.

Finally I decided to give myself a break from what was becoming a life revolving round work and preparation for QQS (Qian Qian Shou trip to Shanghai), I took a day-off tomorrow. In fact, it's actually a day off to PACK, which is one thing I absolutely dislike to do. But with the trip just 2 days away... I don't really have a choice.

With sleeping until 10am in mind, I think I can indulge myself a little tonight. And blog.

It's interesting, this sense of disconnection I feel from myself, even though I've been, as usual, thinking much. It's just many thoughts, some searching, some questioning, some floating, some frivolous... but I am not connecting, somehow.

And it is untrue that I haven't been "feeling". In fact, there are so many feelings I've been sensing, with some level of processing... and yet, I know I'm not going deeper.

It's like, knowing a total stranger - me - all over again, with the 'I see some of you, but I don't see some of you' thrown in. I find that I'm asking questions more to understand, and even contest my decisions these days.

But this post has been censored (from the private one before this) from this point onwards. I realise, that my real world has invaded my cyber one once I added my boss and students to FB. With the slow merger, there are lesser places to hide in the cyberspace. There are lesser appropriate things to blog about too. 

All I can say is, I'm feeling more, but processing less.

That's why this time out. Now.

Do you know that in the US, everyone treats the Influenza A like common flu?

I haven't been too concerned about the H1N1 recently. It seems like fatality rate is low, and those who died generally had underlying medical problems which led to complications. I think it doesn't warrant too much panic as long as everyone watches their health and see a doctor if unwell.

An excerpt from the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention states:

It is expected that most people will recover without needing medical care.

I was just thinking maybe it isn't such a bad idea to get the flu first, and obtain some form of natural immunity against it in case the strain mutates.

Which led me to a really silly conspiracy theory - what if it becomes a bio-weapon? Now, who will be really "safe"...? *raise eyebrow. You know...

WHEN IS SOON???!?!!?

I still miss the days I worked in Raffles Place, the buzz and the FOOD (mostly). One day, I happened to be in town (haha! no pun intended) & saw it glowing in the evening sun and decided to snap a few pics :)

Hehehe....

I just did up a "How well do you know shups!?" quiz on FB... I must say, the best score is only 50% so far! 

Wanna give it a go? Go to my FB profile!

*Update: Best score now is Ms Liang who got 62%! *clap clap!
*Latest update: Top scorer now is Ms Melach Seng!

(Ref: Truth, 17 May 09)

Ya, so the story goes on...

My friend met up with the OF(old flame). I jokingly gave him the dramatic horror of horrors reaction. Well, I honestly did not expect him to 'fess up to the meet up. And I asked him the all-important question:
Who initiated it?

He did.

He claimed to have good reasons to. Apparently he casually mentioned they should catch up one day, and he thought he ought to honor his word. (Ya right.) Furthermore, it's just lunch. (Just lunch!?)

Eventually, he said it's to find out if what was lost is still there.

I am puzzled, if the initial stir had truly been alarming, disconcerting, almost somewhat of an internal turmoil, then why on earth would he do that?

Alright, he claimed, he had no intention to start any illicit relationship with the OF. Alright, he still has some sense. But wouldn't it be potentially dangerous to put oneself in such a situation? What if the chemistry is too strong to resist? What if what if happened? It hardly seem like a wise "flee from temptation" kinda decision.

In fact, I believe the human mind has a funny way to trick oneself onto the slippery slope. How often have you heard from the many who strayed emotionally (or, beyond), that it started with a harmless "we began as just friends..."? And then claims that they've gone too far, too much, too deep in love to resist the relationship.

I believe tell-tale signs will always surface, that yes, it is getting too far, too much and too deep. I also believe that we have a way of deluding ourselves, pretending that it's nothing while indulging in the whole why-does-something-so-wrong-feel-so-right?

I digress. Perhaps, it's my not so subtle way of cautioning all faithful-wannabes out there. Be faithful.

But I really digressed.

My friend is a sensible boy. He claimed he just needed to know if the chemistry is still there. If it is, he will go through another round of dealing with his feelings and soul searching to further understand his heart. (Ok, profound beyond my understanding, but maybe it's a guys' thing.) If there's nothing there, he can happily close the chapter.

And the answer was on the platter. Nothing. Zilch. Go-song. Ji-ro. Time, life experiences and values had pushed this pair of ex close friends apart. A gap that perhaps will never be bridged again. A connection lost. A chemistry that will never happen again.

And I think my friend lost a good thing to gain something far far better.

So, have you ever felt "why-does-something-so-wrong-feel-so-right" before?

I'm back! Hahaha... was busy celebrating birthday and falling sick *cough cough*

Whatever.

Here's something I just chanced upon, and it's totally duhh!!! But quite fun la...



Based on your drawing and the 10 answers you gave this is a summary of your personality:
Your house tells the world that you ought to be a leader. You are a freedom lover and a strong person. You are shy and reserved. If you've drawn a cross on each of windows, you always want to live alone. Once you have a problem, you need a friend with you. Your life is always full of changes.

When it comes to love, you shut yourself off. It's difficult to win your heart because you have decided to keep your feelings deep inside. You see the world as it is, not as you believe it should be.

You added a flower into your drawing. The flower signifies that you long for love. It also safe to say that others don't see you as a flirt. You don't think much about yourself.

p.s. Hey, I drew with my touchpad k... my art is better than this one.........

p.s.s. "I love The Smiths... To die by your side is such a heavenly way to die.." ~ Summer (500 Days of Summer)

Friends, do you know what is the meaning of spam?


Spam is when your friends chit chat on Facebook!

Oki la, I still love you two very much :) :) :) cuz you make me laugh!



And check out what came up on Dictionary.com! The inSing.com commercial! I thought it looked so... in place :p

Recently, a friend who is very very attached shared that he met an Old Flame at a social event. Many many years ago, they shared a lot of chemistry and spent considerable time together. Even though they never got together due to their unavailable statuses, but they probably caused much jealousy to their respective Significant Others.

The chance meeting brought back many memories to my friend and caused his heart to stir. Somehow, feelings of fondness resurfaced and he found himself confronting a misplaced longing for the girl.

I don't think there was any right and wrong in this matter. I told him, "temptations will always come along, but character will determine the actions." I think the important thing is what he chooses to do with these feelings, and I trust his character.

I also asked if he shared this matter with his current Signicant Other (SO). He said he casually mentioned the fact that he bumped into her, and left out the details (ie. the stirrings and feelings, thoughts etc). Basically, he didn't share his heart.

Interestingly, this was something I couldn't quite figure what my stand should be. (I usually can make clear decisions quickly enough, but I actually couldn't decided what I would have done in this case.)

My immediate response was, isn't this a form of "hiding something" in the relationship? I always thought bringing EVERYTHING to light will also bring truth and understanding to the relationship. The truth will set you free?

On the other hand, I understood that he knew his SO deeply, that if he had shared the full extent of these feelings he has, he is potentially causing doubts and worries to arise, and the explanation process will be never-ending.

I am thus torn as I put myself in my friend's shoes, and in his SO shoes. For my friend, it was a convenient choice, and he is comfortable knowing his SO will never know him 100%. As a girl, I ask myself which is worse - to not know my future SO entirely, fully, and thus live in blissful oblivion, or, know that I can trust him to hide nothing, and find out hurtful things I know I don't want to know?

I think in every situation, there are 2 sides to a coin, and either way, wisdom should precede doing what is "right". I concede that in choosing the worse of one or the other above, there is no real right answer, and very dependent on the parties involved, their personalities, characters and maybe, the stakes involved.

I don't know, maybe, I would derive my sense of security from total honestly, knowing things I don't want to know. But I don't know how much I can bear with that. My friend once said to me many years ago, "you can't handle the truth." Maybe I can't.

What would you do in my friend's shoes?

Sorry guys, I've been meaning to blog something but I am going to do so in my next post cuz I really need to sleep now! I have to leave my house in the unearthly hour of 6am, so that's some kind of madness for me :(

Here's something wicked to entertain you in the meanwhile :)

This is really sweet proof that music knows no boundaries :)

http://gizmodo.com/5231112/best-video-ive-seen-today-will-make-you-smile

Here are some photos of kukup :)























Hope you liked the pictures. I cropped some of them cuz my initial framing were crappy. I really enjoy taking photographs, but I realise I will never be a wonderful photographer cuz I never see the details! Only when I was looking through these photographs again, did I notice the faded red paint on pic 3, the old man seated by the fish net and the amazing ripples in the water in pic 4 etc... somehow, all these slipped into my photos unknown to me, and turned out to be such wonderful little annotations to what I wanted to capture of the idyllic little kukup town.

Beauty has such a unique way of sneaking up on you.

Alrighty, here's the summary of my April till early May :p Letting the pictures fill in the words.


10 April 09




11 April 09




14 April 09




18-19 April 09




May Day Long Weekend



That's all, folks! :D

On the one day I have the time to upload photographs, I actually don't have my camera with me. *brrr* I left it with an ex-colleague on Friday after my "volunteer work" (hehe) and I even had to borrow my bro's camera for yesterday's wedding. I miss my pinkie camera.

(*whisper* I've also added Panasonic LX3 to my wishlist... should I should I???)

So, found with much time on hand, without any pictures to update everyone on the events and going-ons of my life at the superficial level... what else can I blog about?

*think for 10 minutes*

Alright, random thoughts again:

1. Friendly =/= warm
For more than 28 years, I've considered myself "friendly" and I really think I am! BUT after two recent comments by 2 guys from church I've known for a few years, I was really left pondering. Both of them commented on 2 different occasions that guys may find me cold at first. Really? I think I was a very shocked as I thought friendly = warm. Apparently not.

So started my quest to explore this coldness issue a little further:
a. I realise I am slow to warm up, but I've concluded it's because I am actually a little shy and worried new friends won't like me :s

b. I am generally colder to guys who I really don't know well.

c. Friendliness and warmness are two different things.

d. I am first interested in people on a mind-mind level before a heart-heart level, and that's just the way I'm built.

e. I am rather emotionally detached. The true irony is it's because I very very easily feel for anything. So go figure.

f. Quote quekie, it's because I have even colder friends, that's why I think I'm warm. HAHA! I think it's only half true. My colder friends are really better with building relationships :)

g. I'm customer service trained :D always put on a smile.


2. Friendly + cold =/= hypocritical
a. I am customer service trained. But I also genuinely care. Just not in the warm way :p

b. Not liking people but pretending to be friendly/warm IS hypocritical.

c. To avoid being hypocritical, like I always say, is to simply NOT have any issue with anyone and genuinely LIKE everyone.


3. 1+2 means I can be who I am
Upon the revelation, I feel liberated. Like, ya, I can just be myself. Cold then so be it. But I still like you.


4. I am totally PASSIVE.
a. Laziness plus lack of motivation.

b. If I don't initiate conversations with you on MSN, it doesn't anything. I just don't really initiate MSN conversations.


5. Sleep is the best medicine for EVERYTHING.
Followed closely by good food.


6. Talents
Really talented people inspire me. I was bowled over by Susan Boyle (and yes, so moved to tears by that youtube video).  I recently discovered this Youtube artist that sings and plays the guit amazingly, and writes really cool songs (and ya, raved about him to a few of you... and he's by the way, really cute. *shy*). I read some of the stuff my friends write and am just so impressed how well they can write and express themselves. I look at my students, how hugely talented they are, given their age, they'll go far and reach greater heights.

Made me wonder what's my special powers... Eat a lot and not get fat?

Yup. Eat a lot and not get fat.

Wow. *sigh*


7. Stuff better than Think Family's Funeral TVC (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s2XLZsiCBsA)
I find the actress (wife) too "theatre", if you know what I mean.

a. http://www.dayswithmyfather.com/
b. Any Petronas TVC (Malaysia)
c. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CabQfB874B0 . Ok, a bit random, but it was hilarious.

Guess it is kinda late to think about blogging anything decent. I still have yet to download so many pictures into my PC!

And my mind wanders away to the other side of the world, functioning at full speed at this moment while everything here slows to a halt. And I'm wondering which is farther? Distance by kilometres, or distance by time, or distance by mind.

Are we in the same time on different planes, or different times on the same plane? So weird.

And here I am wondering what makes sense and what makes a difference. And maybe there is a distance that can never be bridged.

I would like to be shown your world.

It's been hot yeah? I just came back from another family trip to Kukup... and omg, was it 40'c out there?!??

My family's been pretty tight these few months, thanks to my very onz sister-in-laws. I am a happy girl to be spending these kinda precious family time! Heeheehee!

Anyway, wanted to share this other interesting-looking Zooey Deschanel indie film. Looks quirkier and "deeper" than 500 Days of Summer, I wonder if it's going to make it to our shores?



On another random note, this film looks pretty promising as well. I just hope it doesn't go the soapy-sappy drama way.



Big week ahead for me.. cheerios people! :D

Have I posted this before? I thought I did, but I guess I didn't.

I cannot explain why.. but I can't wait for this show to be out.



Maybe I just have a thing for Joseph Gordon-Levitt...

My nephew is now my stamp of approval?

I think my 22-months old nephew likes pretty girls. Or prettily-dressed girls. Or at least, pretty dresses.

This morning, I took an extra 15 minutes to leave my house. Finally, after a little act of pretending to re-eat breakfast and some sly distractions.... I managed to sneak away...

For some unknown reason, little Yoong Yoong was clinging on to me, and refused to let me go off to work. (Common theory would be he wanted to leave go out with me, but he was actually dragging me inwards.) It was weird that he let his favourite male figure Daddy go just 1 second before me, after the cutest of goodbye hugs, and would not let his least favourite aunt out of the door.

Therefore I conclude my nephew likes girls in pretty dresses. News has spread, that upon seeing his AhYee (sis-in-law's sis) in a long flowy dress, he kept touching the dress, and loudly declared, "AhYee I LOVE YOU!" Much to the envy of all of us, cuz he hardly calls anyone of us to begin with, not to even mention any I LOVE YOUs. We didn't even know it was in his vocabulary. Alas, I'm not even half as tall or gorgeous as his AhYee! So no I LOVE YOU from him, but at least this rare display of affection this morning.

So I conclude it must have been my dress. He probably liked it. Had it not been the dress, he'd probably find the eerie laughing Elmo more worthy.

I shall thus use Yoong Yoong as my "stamp of approval" from now on. If I absolutely need to dress to kill, hypothetically if ever this need arises, I will use "how much my nephew clings on to me" as a guage to how pretty the dress is :)

And while walking along the poolside, just when I thought I've already successfully sneaked out of the house, I heard the most tragic cry that woke the neighbourhood.... O.O

Oh my gosh. Was that chemistry......?